Reality.

When I met my husband I had this vision of going to college to do wildlife rehabilitation. I wanted to travel the world living in huts, helping animals and photographing my journey.

Well, 20 years later here we are, living in a small cabin the woods with critters of all kinds, 10 wild children and I get to photograph it all. Sounds perfect right!

For the most part it is.. But its not easy. We have ideas and the ambition to achieve them, but we also have roadblocks. Discouragement. Frustration. At times its hard to stay focused and hopeful.

We live in this catch 22. We can live out here and build our homestead slowly.. very very slowly, or we can stray from our goals, put our kids in daycare/school and we can both do the 9-5 rat race we are trying to escape. In a few years time would could save up enough to get a good head start..

But we don’t have a few years. Our oldest is closing in on 16. The others are right behind him and I regret not doing this sooner..I feel like I have robbed them in some way. For so long we talked about doing this but held back.. We kept saying “Once we get this, or once we can to that”  Tomorrow. We kept living for tomorrow.

Last fall we decided to go big or go home. Live today. So here we are.. We were unprepared for winter.. We knew what to expect but we lacked resources. Our first week of the winter cold we slept in our van, waking up to frost on the seats we had put outside, we had to hurriedly put in the van so they could drop me off at work. We finally attained a propane heater it wasn’t sufficient for our cabin, but it made do. And we burned through a lot of $$ with it. It wasn’t till mid November we were able to scrape up the $500 to finish the chimney for the wood stove. We stayed warm most days.. I had hoped to have the cabin insulated by winter,but funds were not available. They still aren’t. We lived off my very small income and a few donations from friends and our church. We have a long list of “needs” and only a few are being attended to. But we will get there.. I have to learn patience. I guess this is my lesson. Patience.

My faith has been tested in all areas. I have been inactive at church for over a year, but I personally have abandoned my faith in general over these past 8 months or so. Maybe I will find my way back into a relationship with God, maybe not.  I guess I need to work on faith as well..

But the purpose of this.. The homestead, the blog, everything, its not about me.. I need to stay focused on that.. Its for my children.. Its for others who want to live free. For those that want a peaceful life. We want to help others, whether it be part time vacationers, or full time residents, I want the homestead to be open to others who seek the same things we do. We have had others show interest, but none who have been willing to commit..

I hope to be able to share more. I feel I have been glossing it over. Its hard not to live in fear. Not just fear of failure, but fear of sharing it. Not just fear of how others will see me, but how others might act. It seems the more I try to find peace, the more others seek to do us harm.

Over the next few months, I am going to work on my first goal. Setting up an information center.. This blog. So that I can follow our own progress( and failures)  and share it with others. I am also working on setting up an online store to sell whatever we can muster up.. Whether it be home made projects, art, food or second hand items to sell, or services we can provide, we want to explore all avenues of sustainability. And we love to barter.

I appreciate feed back. If there is anything on particular interest to you, let me know.. I can always use inspiration for a blog post!
If you feel inspired to donate, you can pay pal us [email protected] or message us about tangible items or gift cards.

Thanks for reading,
~Nicole