For the past few years I have been on the defensive. Always worried about what will be blown out of proportion. Mocked and ridiculed, and harassed for not being on someone else’s schedule or living up to someone else’s expectations. And I am not all that concerned with opinions usually but, opinions have flared into harassment and that is a concern.
Some people have told me to just ignore it, that these actions dont matter. Our family experienced a very traumatic event because of someone who didn’t approve of how we lived. I will continue to remind people that our lifestyle was legal. We weren’t do anything wrong. But that didn’t stop a nasty vile woman from using the bully tool of CPS to retaliate for an argument. It didn’t stop an unconstitutional sheriff from violating our rights. It didn’t stop a judge from signing an order based on false information from said sheriff. It didn’t stop a Guardian Ad Litem from using her personal bias to dictate court proceedings. And it didn’t stop a group of narcissistic bullies from becoming obsessed with destroying everything we do.
After I lost William I had to use whatever I had left in me to move forward. So much of me wanted to quit. I was defeated and angry and I think my need to get the last word, the need to show people I can do it, my arrogance and some have called it, gave me the motivation to press on. I am a very strong willed person. And my husband is my biggest supporter. So here I am. Not accepting defeat. I am going to continue to fight for my family.
I am doing my best to get back on track. Learning to roll with the punches better. Learning to stand up for myself without lashing out. I am not one to back down, and I will always defend my family. I try to be kind but I can’t always guarantee that. But I will try harder. But I won’t apologize for who I am.
I use to really enjoy blogging. And I have just recently found that desire again. The past two years I’ve really had to force blogs. I felt this obligation to keep the blog up, but lacked the desire to do so. A few months ago I almost lost the whole thing, and thankfully it was recovered, but it forced me to make a decision. Archive the blog and stop paying for it, or get back into blogging again.
Since you are reading this I think you know what my decision was. I can’t promise my blogs will be interesting, but they will always be genuine. I write for me. Even if no one reads the blog, it’s an outlet for me to express my ideas, feelings, journal our memories and be creative.
The past few weeks I have been refocusing myself. I have this bad habit of putting more on my plate than I can manage. I don’t like to delegate because I enjoy doing all of the things which is why I create the problem in the first place. I learned a hard lesson this past week. I am upset at myself for it, and I am upset that some hateful woman took advantage of my error for her own malicious purpose. The issue is being resolved and I now have extra motivation to tackle a few things I had on my plate, get them out of the way so we can move forward.
One of those things is getting a game plan for the homestead this year. Because of my obligation to the salon I have little time for the homestead. I want to be part of the bees and the garden and the rabbits and the chickens.. you get the idea.
We have family meetings regularly. 3/4 nights a week. Some are pretty quick, maybe 5/10 minutes. Others can be longer. During those meetings we discuss anything and everything. From Lucas’s wanting to address Mosiah stealing his crayons to us discussing business ideas and homestead projects. Since I want to do everything and I have to let somethings go, I will be focusing on the blogging, I will be marketing more, and finding ways to maximize our little income streams and helping the children build their businesses. And in doing so I can oversee all aspects of the homestead on my days off from the salon.
My husband and children have been working on the cabin and homestead projects as income has allowed. Some things are mostly time investment but many of them require equipment and tools, and even in keeping the budgets low there is always a cost. The cabin interior is about 80% done. We have some shelves to finish, we have to finish out the ceiling and then stain it all. That is a project that requires materials a winter grooming income doesn’t provide for. So that will be resumed in the spring. However, the projects are mainly cosmetic and the cabin is organized and running smoothly. It was a little chilly with the °0 temps but I think that applies to most any house. We have lived in many many rental homes and this cabin by far has been one of the nicest homes we have lived in.
This was our most recent project. They tiled the bathroom floor and installed the tub a few months ago and the kitchen was the last “room”. The counter will have shelves above it for the dishes and the shelves here will be for school supplies, which are currently on a shelf by the double doors.
They’ve been starting to clear out some trees now that the brush is dead. Quinten took these photos with the SE
Quinten needed a new phone and Abigail wanted a phone so I gave Quinten my iPhone SE and Abigail got Jacobs iPhone 6 and I got an 8plus. Because I renegotiated our contract the savings covered the cost of my new phone. And because my phone is a business expense its tax deductible. In case you are curious my phone is used to take phone calls, text appointments, manages my schedule, runs the Fb page, website, designs and manages advertising, and keeps the books. pretty amazing huh!
I bought the iphone 7plus for the camera quality and cost. Its a great camera but the phone is bulky. I went from an SE to a 7plus. I love the portrait setting as it works beautifully on most dogs.
Abigail was given a ton of yarn from someone who was destashing so she’s been coming up with new projects. She made this pillow case for her dad.
We got hit with our first winter storm. I’ve been hoping for a Sunday-Monday storm but I ended up having to close the salon Friday-Saturday. I love photographing winter. It’s the only thing I like about it.
We took a break from bows for about a month and we have decided to continue to offer our hair bow sets year round.
Of course we have pet sets available as well and will be adding them to the store.
I am debating on going back to the homestead journal format. I think maybe next week I will do that. I’ll post some of the things everyone has been doing.
Anyhow. This blog post has been kind of all over the place like my mind usually is. They joke a womans mind is like a browser with 20 tabs open. Mine is like having 3-4 devices going!! LOL