The Real Abuse

posted in: Uncategorized | 24

This is the blog I wanted to write before all this side tracking drama popped up. I wanted to talk about my children. That’s what this is all about right? What’s best for my children.

When we decided to move to this property and build a homestead we wanted the children to grow roots. A place we could settle a bit and feel secure. Having rented for so long, being on other peoples terms, we wanted some of the flexibility and freedom that comes with land ownership. We knew even on a tight budget we could afford the land payment. When we moved to the homestead we knew it was a lot of work. We discussed the pros and cons with the children extensively. Everyone was on board. They were excited. We were building something from nothing. But the children knew, and we knew, once we got the homestead up and running, it would be worth the sacrifices.

For the first 18 months the children stayed positive. They had their eyes on the bigger picture. And I speak specifically for the older ones, because we asked them numerous times if we wanted to try a different path. They wanted this. Not for us, but for them.

Last May it all changed. My children’s spirits were broken. People say it’s dangerous to teach my children to distrust government. We don’t teach them to distrust government, we teach them their rights.  The government has taught them to distrust government.

I had hoped that once the children were returned, we could get back to normalcy. And it seemed to be at first. But we kind of hit a wall. Lucas suffered the most, at least that’s how it looked from the outside. Lucas was fearful for a while after he got home. He would hide behind us when the caseworker came. One day we saw one of his foster parents at Walmart. Lucas turned white as a ghost. He cried once we got in the van. Lucas was 3 when he went into foster care. He turned 4 while in care. He was in care for 8 weeks. He was in 5 homes in 8 weeks. One home he was in he was alone, no siblings. The foster parent had him wearing diapers. My heart hurts typing this. They emotionally damaged this precious child.  Lucas was a free spirit with no worries. He was confident. Now he’s clingy and whiney. He angry.

But it wasn’t just Lucas, and one day we can talk more about their individual expericemces. But they all suffered. My older children, who know more, have lost a lot of motivation. Last April we made plans to build and grow the homestead. We were supposed to have had the main cabin up and building Jacobs cabin. We should have had a lot more done here. But the truth is, we don’t feel safe on our own property. We feel discouraged. Jacob was hesitant to do his garden because he didn’t want to do all that work and just have to walk away from it.

In addition to not feeling secure about home, my children have insecurity about our ability to protect them. One day Joe and Abigail were talking, she stated that she doesn’t think we can protect her. She told him ” they came and took me last year and there was nothing you could do about it”

She’s right. And it breaks her dads heart. Fighting the state is damn near impossible. The more you fight the more they dig their claws in. We never imagined we would still be dealing with this. It’s been 14 months we’ve been fully investigated and still, nothing has been found to warrant those actions. The state has two options, admit they were wrong, or find a way to justify their actions.

Now I know how that makes me feel. And I’m a grown adult,

Now imagine how that makes  a 17 year old, or a 13 year old or a 10 year old feel.

In addition to the state, we have a local group who is doing their best to get us to move. They can justify their actions all they want to the public, but again, my children see it from the inside. They know they aren’t being molested, yet they see others making that accusation. They know they aren’t starving, yet they see others making those claims. They know they are intelligent educated children, yet they see others questions if they can even function in society.

Now how do you think my children feel?

Now tell me that all of these people are just doing this to help them?

Ive been criticized for using my children to further my political agenda, or putting my rights before them. This is all for them. Because imagine what those people would have done with my children if I didn’t.

My children have suffered  emotional abuse since May 6, 2015 by the very people who claim to be trying to help them. If you want to help them, leave them alone. There is absolutely no justification for this behavior to continue. You are doing far more harm than good. My children know the reality. They know the life we have. They know what goes on in our home. They know how wrong this all was. Whether you take their side or ours, the children know the real story. And it scares them. It scares the crap out of them. Because they know all of this is being done even tho there is no justification for it.

edited to add some after thoughts: my children aren’t hiding under the covers fearful. They have a validated fear. It’s not like they are scared of a boogy man that doesn’t exist. They were ripped from their homes by the government. This actually happened to them. I’m not the one projecting my fears. My chidren are intelligent. They are also involved. These things aren’t happening behind their back. We still have court dates, we still have CPS visits, we still have people hounding us about compost and we have people actually physically harassing our work and home. My children see all of this. And while we are working as a family to heal, the continuous threats are what put my children on edge. This isn’t our doing, tho some would say it is. That’s kind of my point. They see the behind the scenes and that’s why they are fearful. They won’t fully heal till the threats are gone.

***Editing this blog to address a few things. My children do not read every word the trolls write. I certainly don’t let them see everything.  But my children aren’t ignorant and they certainly aren’t sheltered. Two of my children are admins on the FB page. It’s a family page. They see the people who drive by taking photos. We have had family meetings about the threats. My children understand what’s going on around them.

But they are also involved. It’s their life. They have been interviewed by case workers and such. Jacob and Quinten saw Alex on TV. How can people expect them not to know?

I also want to add that we are working with the children. We are a very close family and as I’ve said before, we have very open conversations. My children are building their confidence and we are working on keeping on track with our plans. But again, they know the reality. They know that if things continue on the path they seem to go, every day will be some new accusation and we will be dragged through court once again to defend our lifestyle. I cannot prevent them from knowing about this. We do our best to stay positive. But remember. My children know there was no reason they should have been taken last year, and they were. They know there is no reason to be taken now. But they are also aware of those who are trying desperately to have us removed from our home. They are trying desperately to have our children put back in state custody. I cannot hide that from them. I will not. But we do offer the support they need, as we did last year.

Considering all that was going on, and the effect it did have, I still think my children were/are amazingly strong. But this isn’t a test to see how much pressure they can take before they break. People need to stop trying to fix what’s not broken.

24 Responses

  1. JerryB

    I am very sad for your family. I wish it was different and that we were really allowed to raise our family as we see fit. Dreams, now a days, can turn to night mares in an atmosphere where the government thinks they own our children.

  2. SueLynn

    I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am for all your family has gone through and is going through. I can assure you that anyone who looks at your pictures and videos with an honest eye, knows the kids are well taken care of and well loved. This menopausal mean girls cub you are dealing with appears to me to be fundamentally dishonest, crude, and common as dirt. That of course is just my opinion based on personal observations. I have no advise to give, you are not dealing with normal people (IMO). I used to think if you did leave social media maybe they would leave you alone. I don’t think that any more. Obviously they have crossed the line from internet stalking to real life stalking. Plus they are enjoy trying to out do each other with vulgarities and stupidity.They are just having too much fun to let morels and ethics interfere!. So I guess you guys just need to do whatever appears to be the right thing for you, protect your family as best you can, and please be careful!

  3. Meagan

    I am so sorry that you and your children have to endure this. I am sorry that they were “broke” so early on, that normally doesn’t happen until sometimes in your 20’s when the “real world” isn’t everything everyone told you it would be. They will gather it back, they will grow on from this. You are doing right to teach them their rights, and how to stand their ground, too many parents clip their children’s wings early on by teaching them to obey, obey, obey, and to ignore their rights. I could not imagine as a mother, how that makes your feel. I applaud you for not breaking and for continuing to push forward toward your collective homestead dreams. I have seen too many parents, just give in and OBEY. Your story encourages me to follow our dream to be off-grid and to have a homestead. It also scares me, but I see that you have strength and you are making it through this, it shows me that I can learn my rights, and do this as well.

  4. auntieginzy

    Live your life. Love your children. This world is in desperate need of us to love one another. I fervently pray that your family will be respected and left to get on with living the life you have chosen <3

  5. SueLynn

    I wish I could edit the above, there are some typos and I spelled morals with an ‘e’ lol. I do think the Menopausal Mean Girls are a bit parasitic, but I would never classify them as Morels.

  6. Yahoo!

    I will never forget that audio tape Joe made. It slapped me like a ton of bricks. I could never imagine a parent doing this.

    Joe sat the kids down and told the children that their brothers had been kidnapped and then he told them that the next day they would be kidnapped too.
    It was so cruel the way he did that. Little toddlers up to young teens and that is how you tell them? So that you could post a shocking video on Facebook?

    This is why people disrespect you Nicole. It’s not because you are off grid or because of your political beliefs…although politics certainly have a lot to do with how you handled that situation.

    You made a choice that day that Todd Pate told you that he had to interview your children or CPS would take them. You stood by that choice, you have to accept the consequences too.

    I cant think of anything worse for a child than being removed from their family. It must hurt beyond belief. You are their everything, and I believe that this this didn’t have to happen.

  7. Mary

    I understand where you are coming from. There is stranger danger and it is hard for you and your family to relax. I agree..they are tormenting the children and making them fearful of the future. I think those tormentors should be afraid of what is gonna happen some day when your children are grown and successful. They may one day bagging one of your children for a job. They are spitting in a well so to speak and one day may need to drink from it.

  8. maria schon

    I am so sorry your family is going through this B.S. Just not right or fair. But then again you are dealing with the government. So sad!!!!!!!

  9. BlessedLittleHomestead

    I cant think of anything worse for a child than being removed from their family. It must hurt beyond belief. You are their everything, and I believe that this this didn’t have to happen.

    You are right, it didn’t have to happen. I have a right to request an attorney. My rights were violated. My children’s rights were violated. We have a right to due process. If exercising my rights is seen as a threat, you might want to question the government as to why. We have a 4th amendment right. Why was that not respected?

  10. Mickie

    This is so sad for the children. They are innocent and I’m sure this has effected them and made scars that will stay for a long time. You are so right, when the CPS gets their claws in they don’t want to let go because they don’t want to have been proven wrong. I know this as I worke for state agency and saw this first hand. Sending prayers and love for your family and may God bless and keep you safe.

  11. Annette

    This post hurts my heart. Please give each and every one of your children a hug from me. Let them know that I cried for them when they were apart from each other and their parents. Please tell them that even though there are many angry, hard hearted, spiteful people in this world, there are also many caring, kind hearted, hopeful ones. Continue listening to them as they pour out their hearts and their fears. Sometimes, just listening without judgement works wonders. It’s ok for you as parents to let them know of your own heartache and fears too. It will help them to see that no matter how old we get we have to face tough things. Reinforce how you all came through it and talk about ways to move forward as individuals and as a family. Each one of you will need different things, learn to ask for those. You sound like a very close, warm, loving family. Don’t allow anyone to change that. Whenever I come through a major life event, I stop and ask myself; What do I need to learn from this? How can I become a better person from this experience? How can I use this to help others? By asking those questions, it helps me to benefit from traumatic things, rather than living as a victim or survivor. My prayers have been with you from the beginning, please keep in mind that you are not alone. Your pain has been in my heart and I’m sure others have felt the same.??

  12. Dee Thomson

    Reading this makes me angry. angry at these neighbors that are still taking pictures ,writing blogs on other pages ect…the harrassers because this blog is very very true leave them alone they have been this way, they get it there not stupid .if there was some wrong they would not have been returned …….please for you out there that keep bugging this family how would you handle if someone was doing this to your family your children? I have read the bashes pages and they all have kids and grand kids.i hope and pray for you that God does not judge you or if you don’t believe In God that the bitch karma don’t catch you before you learn to leave these people alone……..

  13. Oneslip

    What is it that dr. Phil says? Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? All of this could have been avoided if you had just let the sheriff see your kids to make sure they were ok? But instead you got hostile and escalated the situation. You chose your desire to be “right” over your children’s well being. You created the situation that resulted into your children being removed from your care until it could be ascertained whether they were in a safe environment, or not.

    I feel for you. I really do, but we all have to make sacrifices for our kids. If there isn’t enough food for a meal, we go without so the kids can have a good meal. We’ll still be wearing clothes from high school so our kids can have new school clothes to replace the worn out clothes and clothes they’ve outgrown. And sometimes we have to give a little more to ensure peace,’stability and safety in our families.

    The situation that befell you was one of those times when you should have looked beyond your own interest to be right to what was right for your kids. You were presented with the fact that someone lodged a complaint and the sheriff needed to see the children to make sure they were ok. Simple deal. The consequences of the sheriff not being able to see the kids were clearly explained. You chose to be argumentative and tried to show your defiance of LE. Sad because it wasn’t about you. It was about your kids. Your kids would not have thought any less of you if you had just said, “these are my children and my neighbor made a false report. ” Did you want to be right, or do you want to be happy Nicole?

    I hope you take this as advice and don’t think it’s coming from a troll. It’s not.

  14. Amber Rial

    Nichole, you did what you thought was right to protect your children and I praise you for that. God says “Thou shalt not Judge” so stop judging this family. Interviewing her children she felt was not needed. They are children it was the government’s way of saying we don’t like your way of living so we are going to harm your family one way or another. I’ve dealt with the system and I have a friend who has done nothing wrong but still had there children taken away because the government felt as if she wasn’t caring for them the right way. I feel your pain and your anger.

  15. ANTONIA HERNANDEZ

    Our family had our 6 children taken shortly after your family for camping. I know exactly what it feels like to not feel secure in your home. We are also dealing with children who are scared, clinging and just plain terrified. We moved our family and that has granted us some relief but I am thankful for your family staying strong and showing the world what is really going on. I know it must be hard for you to still be under cps and nosey neighbors and I hope you can get this behind you soon so you all can heal.

  16. Vivian Franceachini

    Who is Yahoo? What a jerk. Sorry, this is how I feel, Don’t post on a site you dislike. Must be one of the Trolls!
    I seriously think you should move, get away from evil. Move to North Carolina! My brother lives there and people are so nice? I cried for you and your family. God is with you. This has become serious. Block these trolls. People live and let live in North Carolina. And property is not expensive. Bless you and your wonderful family.

  17. BlessedLittleHomestead

    I did do this for my children. They have rights and they certainly had a right to have a lawyer present before speaking CPS or the police. The fact that so many fail to see that as an infringement on freedom makes my point for me. We no longer have rights. We have allowed our freedoms to be dissolved. And as an advocate for my children I will continue to fight for them.

    We were punished for exercising our rights. That’s what happened. If that doesn’t outrage you, you are part of the problem.

  18. Cassia Hill

    I am so angry that you are going through all of this. It is my desire to have a homestead so bad, and I see that the government want us all to be caged to their jurisdiction. Keep the faith and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  19. jjjg55

    I really wish it had never come to that. My heart broke for you as a mother, and for my grandchildren. Still does. With Gods help, al ya’ll can and will b\get thru the hurt, and be better for it. IF you let God help you. Love you. <3

  20. Kim Burnhams

    I was so happy to see your blog link pop up on my Facebook. Dunno how or why but I’m so glad it did… when I first read, last year, of what was happening to you and your family, I was outraged. And then devastated, when your children were taken. We all know that bad things can happen to good people and we have all watched movies where the bad guys seem to get away with everything. But the bad guys are bad. They are not supposed to be your own neighbours, your own community, your own government! So this is a double tragedy to me – the fact that the very people who should have helped and protected you, have been the monsters in this nightmare – is what really blows me away. But you and your family are like a beacon of hope in a sick, messed-up world… I salute you as a human being, a woman, a mother and a wife. Your children are indeed blessed to have you as a parent and while the world may have damaged them, they WILL recover and they WILL become the precious people they were born to be.
    We are all damaged, in this broken world. It’s just the degree that varies. But that’s not important. What’s important is that you continue to shine your light, to live your truth, and to love your children.
    NEVER GIVE UP.
    Love and respect to you ?

  21. Thomas Feick

    Yahoo and Oneslip don’t have enough integrity to reveal their identities. I support their right to disagree, and to state their opinions in public, but perhaps they would think more and comment less if they had to use real names.
    I believe you did your best to protect your kids. I pray that your tormentors will see the truth and leave your family alone.

  22. Leslie

    I saw someone give you some very good advise on you bless little homestead Facebook page the other day. A lady made a suggestion that you get those children into counseling. I too think that’s an excellent idea! Often times children will open up about their feeling more with someone else rather than their parents. Children need neutral ground when dealing with deep rooted problems. We often will try as parents to help our child but fall short. It’s at no fault of our own, it simply means we need someone with qualifications who is trained to pick through those issues and open up a more in depth dialogue. Also, your children would have no idea of your online presence unless you made it known to them. Facebook can be made private. You could make the BLH page private and that would help to weed out a lot of the nonsense on your page. That’s a simple solution!

  23. Jenny

    I envy you and your family for being so strong.. I to feel bad for the way others have treated you and your family.. I fully understand how your kids feel as mine do the same because after divorcing their father my kids have also become silent, closed off, dont trust many. we have had so called friends turn on us, we have lost everything cause he chose to leave us with nothing.. My children 19 and 13 are struggling as well I wish i lived closer so my youngest could befriend your kids.. we to have lived off very little and no home, electric or running water.. they cherish those days, and they also tell me they Love the simpler things in life.. the simple way of living.. Its not that you cant live better you choose to only have what you need.. Not what you think you need or what you think you must have.. Hope this makes since.. I totally under stand where you and your family are coming from..

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