Just Let Me Enjoy My Pregnancy

I’m really discouraged about how much negativity surrounds pregnancy. Every aspect of it. I’ve been fed it my whole life as far back as I could recall. In high school pregnancy is discouraged by making pregnancy and parenthood sound awful. When you do get pregnant you are fed horror stories of labor. Birth is tabu, and the only acceptable message of childbirth on tv are the stereotypes of women screaming hateful things while being forced to birth in a supine position. Ive heard it all more times than I can count. Especially since I don’t conform to society’s birthing norms.

The rudeness however, is a sign of ignorance. People who don’t matter begging me to get prenatal care for the sake of my child!! I’ve birthed 11 healthy babies with no interventions and no complications other than a mild hemorrhage which we had under control before the EMTs even arrived. I’m not sure what could be provided for me that I’m not able to do for myself. I’ve had prenatal care before. I’m quite familiar with the process.

But the other day, in a reply to one of my comments, a very nasty lady said to me “Nicole Naugler, well hi there just want to send greetings BTW you look horribly unhealthy you really do need to see a doctor if you die with this pregnancy you were leaving a lot of children behind to fend for themselves”

Of course I immediately blocked this person.  As someone who homebirths it is an advocate for homebirth, I’m well aware of the statistics of childbirth in  the United States. I also know that statistically I’m safer at home then I am in a hospital. That being said I’m also aware  that it’s possible that I may die in childbirth that my child may die in childbirth for the both of us may die.

I know this person was just being rude but there are other people who make such comments how risky it is to homebirth, to not have professional prenatal care but when they are asked to explain they just say it would be safer doing it their way. Just in case. They have this idea that that if something bad happens maybe I’d be better prepared. Here’s a little secret about homebirthers. We know when help is needed. We know how to handle emergencies. On the flipside most of those mean critics wouldn’t know the first thing to do if they had an unintended homebirth.

I like being pregnant. It’s only 9 months long and the first part is pretty boring actually. Don’t take the joy from a pregnant woman by constantly trying to fill her head with worry. If you have friends, family, aquainteces who are pregnant don’t tell them about your bad experiences, tell them what you enjoyed. Don’t tell them they look tired, of course they are, they are growing a human inside their body. Offer to buy them an ice cream, or a burger. This applies to all expectant moms, but especially if they are a first time mom, or a mom who has suffered a loss. They need a little more positive encouragement.

Im 41 years old. I’m raising 11 children and growing one. I’m also running a very busy and successful business. I’m carrying my 12th child. Yes, I’m a little tired. But I feel great. The baby feels great and I don’t have any concerns. I’ve only got till July to enjoy this blessing of pregnancy and that’s what I plan to do 🙂

My 9 year old son Urijah took this photo of me today, I’m about 31 weeks.

 

39 Responses

  1. Tyra Bliss

    I for one think you look great! Sure hope its a girl this time..

  2. JR

    Oh honey I know childbirth is such an empowering experience but you are statistically much more likely to die or have your baby die in a home birth than in a hospital in the US.

  3. Loan Officer Kentucky

    I think it’s great that if any sort of problem that pops up you & your husband can handle it! You have a car that can quickly & safely get you to the hospital if the very rare problem arises. And that you have cell phones to call 911 if the need should arise. Your kids are there too to help as well. If anything should go wrong (cord, bleeding, early delivery, high blood pressure, breech, transverse, whatever the naysayers bark about), your kids will be on hand to help & since they are farm kids I’m sure nothing can scare or upset them. And I’m sure that those asshats who complain about your teeth affecting the baby health don’t know that you are on top it and that there is no infection in them that could harm the baby. You eat very healthy, lots of fresh vegetables & you are able to can it. I am sure that those people are just jealous. You got this, you’re a pro at birthing & being pregnant (that’s a compliment) even though so many people are against having children.

    Do you nest when you get near delivery? I always did! I loved that part, getting ready & making everything just how I want it. I clean & scrub everything lol! I had my last one at 37, but couldn’t do it at home as we knew our baby had Down syndrome. He is a blessing! A few people told us we were being selfish for not terminating the pregnancy. Asshats.

    I am lucky that I get to work from home and spend everyday with my five littles. I couldn’t do it without my husband. He is the best dad in the world!

    Ignore the asshats and enjoy your pregnancy, as it could be your last (getting up there in years lol). I would love another one, but our youngest will always need care, so we decided no more so we can focus on him. His siblings adore him, he has brought so much light into our lives!

  4. Tammy W Ellis

    Congratulations on the new bundle of joy! Has your son and his wife had their baby yet? I want to congratulate them as well.
    I’m new to your blog but look forward to reading your post.
    Again, congratulations to all of you!!

  5. Trudy Abernathy-Neill

    Very nice photo….I think you look wonderful and serene….all the best as you continue to bloom with the Spring season all around us.

  6. Mom/Ma-mére/grandmére

    Beautiful. And a very strong person.

  7. Cathy K Carlson

    I admire you very much. I don’t doubt you can handle this pregnancy and birth just fine. Now, when mothers go to the Gyns they are pressured to get vaccines, Flu and Dtap. They are sometimes terrorized till they give in. God bless you and your family.

  8. pwjane

    Enjoy your pregnancy and birth, lucky baby being born into your family.

  9. Monica Kaiser

    I think it’s a girl this time! 🙂

  10. Meagan

    Congratulations!
    You look absolutely wonderful and I wish the best for you in the rest of your pregnancy, l&d, and the joy afterward. The people running their mouth need to leave it be, their noses shouldn’t be in your business.

  11. C. Jenkins

    You look beautiful mama! Don’t let anyone steal your joy! You and only you know what is best for your body and your baby!

  12. Rachel Espino

    Goodness! People are rude. Sorry you have to put up with these horrible comments. Just continue enjoying those children and pregnancy. And yes, you look tired – as you should being a busy person. I have seven and I look like I’m tired. I think society gets so used to seeing made up mommas that they think one without make up looks sickly. Perhaps it’s the made up mommas who are sickly? Hmmm. Embrace this, Nichole. You have experience and know what you are doing. Love to you. 🙂

  13. Melissa

    Congrats! I think you look beautiful. Can’t wait to see the new precious little!

  14. Chrissy from Canada

    Nay sayers are there no matter what you do, women are either too young, not set up enough, too old, already have “enough” kids. I am 43 and due in June and I can’t tell you how many times I have been told better you then me, I don’t know how you are doing that at your age, well I hope you are done now. I get all that and I am getting prenatal care and all. We live in a culture of death that hates new life, that is where all this “let’s make the pregnant lady miserable” stuff comes from. I hope you have a happy peaceful rest of your pregnancy Nicole ? I can’t wait to see the pictures of your newest bundle of joy. And as for the grouchy, new life hating crowd, they can just sit on it.

  15. Lisa N. Murphy

    I think you look beautiful. I loved being pregnant so I am glad you enjoy these blessings.

  16. Cammy Murray Burgess

    God has blessed you 12 times with children they are all uniquely made this 12th child will be born healthy just like the rest remain positive and block out negative energy …….blessings and loving light to you and the entire family

  17. Jeanne

    I think you are ABSOLUTELY amazing! I wish that I could have handled my pregnancies the way you have! Congratulations to you! May you live your lives in peace and all the jerks in our world shut their pie-holes! All my blessings are headed your way today! ♡
    Jeanne Sopiarz
    Mommy to 5

  18. Shannon

    I was raised as an only child until my mom remarried when I was 5. Her and my stepdad would go on to give me four little sisters. I was an older child when my mom was pregnant and birthed my siblings, so I have vivid memories of her pregnancies and births. Perhaps that’s the reason I have such a positive view of pregnancy and birth. For me, there’s no greater time of joy, hope, and anticipation for the future than when expecting a baby. Women are so radiant and beautiful to me when they are gestating. I can’t relate to people who try to darken the experience of pregnancy with shadows of doubt and fear. I just don’t get it. I know not everyone has a positive experience with pregnancy. I even understand that for some, there was no other experience in their lives that was more traumatic or tragic. I still don’t undertand why anyone would offer anything but support and kindness to a an expectant mother. That said, you look beautiful and I’m so excited for you! Best wishes to you and Joe and the kids!

  19. Julie Ann Jencks

    Wait, how did Urijah become 9 already. Seems like just yesterday I received the call announcing his arrival. <3

  20. LeeAnn Kelly

    You look amazing for this being your 12th baby!! I can’t wait to see this precious gift that God is blessing you with!!

  21. Tracy Boggs

    And then JR posts above and says you have a much higher risk of you and your baby dying in a home birth than in a hospital. Actually, JR, no you don’t. Home birth has better outcomes for mom and baby. Educate yourself before posting. https://mana.org/blog/home-birth-safety-outcomes

  22. Tammie Beck

    You look simply beautiful… I hope it’s a girl… Shut out the negative. They don’t matter anyhow. Enjoy you pregnancy momma and continue to do you fabulously!

  23. Dawn

    What kind of world do we live in, when complete strangers think it’s ok to tell someone how many children they should have, where to give birth or how healthy you look on any particular day. My gosh people if you don’t have some kind to say, keep quiet, plain & simple. Btw, you look great, congratulations on your pregnancy. 🙂

  24. Sarah Laskowski

    you look just beautiful!! so happy for you & you’re family! stay positive, it’s better for the baby & you!!

  25. Dovey

    You look beautiful,I’m almost 70 an still remember the 3times I was pregnant I wish things had been different back than,the fathers weren’t allowed in the room when the baby was born an didn’t even get to hold baby till we were leaving the hospital..but I loved being pregnant there’s nothing like that feeling..you’re so blessed..all your children are beautiful…

  26. Renee

    I love the idea of home births as they allow mom to be more comfortable and labor in a warmer more natural way. I wish you the best. It might not be a good idea to not have prenatal care though as that can spot health issues for mom and baby ahead of time when care can be taken to protect them. This however does not have to be with an obstetrician you can get quality care from a midwife without it having to be in an invasive sterile environment. To each their own though so I just wish you a happy healthy delivery when this new little one is ready to make their entrance in this crazy world.

  27. Jill Nelson

    While in high school pregnancy SHOULD be discouraged. Do you honestly think it should be encouraged? It was always related to me a matter of maturity and responsibility. I do not disagree.

  28. Kris

    JR that is an inaccurate statement. Try backing it up with actual statistics and you’ll find yourself educated.

  29. perigrine

    “Spoiler alert: hospital births in America are definitely not more safe than home births in the Netherlands. In fact, hospital births in the United States aren’t very safe at all when compared to home or hospital births in other developed counties in general. Ours is one of only a handful of countries in the entire world whose maternal mortality rates are rising. And they’re doing so rapidly. Our maternal death rate has doubled over the last 25 years. In California, it tripled in a mere decade (1996 to 2006). Given that a great many maternal deaths aren’t even reported to the CDC[…] these numbers probably actually look better than they really are. And, well, they don’t look good.”

    http://www.parenting.com/blogs/natural-parenting/taylor-newman/american-hospital-birth-not-safe-you-think-what-gives-and-what

  30. Sue

    Indeed, pregnancy is beautiful! You look beautiful! You wear it really well! For some women, pregnancy might be a negative stressor. But for you, pregnancy it is a positive, beneficial stress, that lifts your mood, and perspective! Nice.

    You do know your body! And I can see how these displays from followers, that are masqueraded as concern, can leave you feeling alienating and offended. After all, you’ve had something like 11 successful pregnancies, most at-home and unassisted. But therein lies the point! Birthing so many children is just one risk-factor. “Women who will be under age 17 or over age 35 when their baby is due are at greater risk of complications than those between their late teens and early 30s. The risk of miscarriage and genetic defects further increases after age 40” (WebMD, 2016). Additionally, you meet other standards of high risk pregnancy because you have admitted a history of miscarriage, as well as hemorrhage.

    So the concern is not for the safety – or lack there of – regarding homebirthing, nor whether home-birth or hospital-birth is safer than the other. But rather, the concern is for your failure to acknowledge that your pregnancy is indeed, high-risk, based on risk-traits.
    “A pregnancy is considered high-risk when there are potential complications that could affect the mother, the baby, or both. High-risk pregnancies require management by a specialist to help ensure the best outcome for the mother and baby.” WebMD, 2016).

    Your family wants you around. Sometimes, we must put our principles aside, in order to put ones family first, to make the best decision for them, because in this case, each and every risk-factor in a high-risk pregnancy ( of which you have many), threats to your life significantly increases. Ignoring the very serious implications is a roll of the dice, so to speak. And it is a little scary that you dismiss these risk-factors completely.

    So, since many of your followers are mothers themselves, and keeping in mind the inordinate number of followers (45,000) you share content with, you are bound to keep receiving concerned comments, because they can clearly see the higher risk of birth complication,s given your age and number of children alone. And to boot, you kind of display an air of cognitive dissonance regarding the existence of these risks, as if they dont exist.

    Thank-you for your patience, for listening! I think it’s great that you allow comments, to communicate other perspectives!
    Prayers for your health, and for the health of your family – all the way from CA!

    Source:
    (2016). Managing a high-risk pregnancy. Retrieved from: http://www.webmd.com/baby/managing-a-high-risk-pregnancy#2

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