CPS as a Bully Tool

I’ve discussed many issues with CPS but the main one is how CPS investigations are initiated in the first place.

Its a bully tool, plain and simple. Pissed off at your neighbor, call CPS. Coworker take the promotion you want? Call CPS. Your daughter won’t let you take the grandkids? Call CPS. It happens everyday.

It’s happened to us.

We’ve had CPS called 8 times in nearly 18 years of parenting. 7 were in Kentucky.

1. In 2001 when the school program Alex was enrolled in made a call about a mark. It was discovered later (by CPS) that it was not a concern. They interviewed both Joe and Alex at their office. Sent a letter of dismissal. I will note here that after Alex was taken CPS was never called to our home. This is important to note because if the child case had evidence or even suspicion of abuses, especially sexual abuse, we would have been investigated as we had two children living with us. Not once was the welfare of Jacob and Quinten a concern. Joe lost his custody due to his inability to appear in court (you can read the story ) and to fight a court case thousands of miles away.

2. Our next CPS call happened just after we moved to KY. We were at the library and Isaac walked off as we were getting ready to leave. He walked out to see if we had left and the librarian called police. We left before they arrived and CPS showed up the next day, interrogating us. I made a call later that day to the cheif of police, county attorney and a few others to find out what crime I had committed. None could tell me. (I believe the librarian called after we left as Isaac was only “gone” for maybe 3-5 minutes as we walked through the small library and he got turned around. We lived there for 5 more months and never heard from them again.

3. Our next CPS call was a few years later. We had literally just moved into a new place that weekend. Tuesday night the hot water tank broke, we still had a house full of boxes. They got soaked.  Wednesday morning the septic backed up. Thursday morning CPS showed up. Funny that. She inspected the home, told of the circumstances and came for a follow up the next week. On her first visit she asked if there was anyplace the children could stay while we unpacked. I laughed. This is their home. Give me a break. Her second and last visit was great. She was a nice lady and we all had a good conversation during dinner. We do not know who called but has suspected either the landlord or a lady from church. Why would you call CPS and not offer to help instead?! We lived there only anothe month. It was a horrible situation.

4. The next call was after Quintens finger incident. This call was made by my brother in law. State police showed up, looked at my sons finger, complimented on the job and told CPS they were not needed.

5. We had been living in a run down rent house. It had a few issues but it was liveable, according to the city codes anyhow. But we didn’t like living there, so we found another place to move. On the way back after putting deposit on the new place we were ambushed pulling into our drive way. A marked police car, an unmarked police car and a plain car pulled up behind us as we pulled into our driveway. CPS and law enforcement. They caught us off guard and were rather intimidating. We allowed them to see the home. CPS began talking about putting a plan in place and questioned me about my pregnancy (I was 41 weeks at the time) at this point I walked back to my front door to get them out and my husband approached me, as the cops were digging through our trash outside. Joe said they were not here with good intentions and asked everyone to leave. I did give the new address. So a month later CPS showed up at our new place. Joe told them they saw our children before  and without a warrant thru wouldn’t be allowed to see them again. They left and our case was closed. I also suspect who called, again, someone who felt we didn’t live up to their expectations, but didn’t feel like actually helping. I was 41 weeks pregnant, Joe was working nights. It would have been nice has this person said hey, mind if I come visit and lend a hand? Please. Offer that first before you call CPS. We lived in the new home for a year and a half.

6. We didn’t see CPS again but we got a call the week we moved to the homestead. Joe spoke to the worker for about an hour. That was the end of it. We found out later it was some lady at church who was pissed off at us. We will call her Pissy Missy for now. That story will be told later.

7. 6 months later we saw CPS again. This time it was because Olivia went for a walk down the road. (Without permission) Some lady offered her a ride and Olivia got in. Wrong. Yes. Oh so wrong. Wrong for the lady to pick her up, wrong for Olivia to get in. But she dropped Olivia off to Jacob who had followed her. They came home and we had a talk. 30 minutes later the Sherrif was at my door. Long story short. (One day I will post the long story) he didn’t like that I wouldn’t let him in my home without a warrant and mr “I break the law when I see fit” Sherrif decided to push his way past me (again, 9 months pregnant) and made his way towards my cabin. I held my ground and recorded. My husband had arrived and since we demanded a warrant (one he never got) he called CPS. They came, talked to my children, and left. We lived here 18 months before we saw them again.

8. My husband went to a local aquatintence to get water. Not steal water. We had several sources and we never needed to steal. The lady who rents the home we got water from ( well owner was ok with it) got into an argument with my husband. She called CPS out of spite. Plain and simple. The Sherrif didn’t call, Sondra Johnston McEntee called. She admitted it in her FB message to me that day. My children were taken because I refused to comply. Which I didn’t. I was not under any obligation to do anything. I requested a warrant and lawyer. I requested a warrant and lawyer at 10am when I first spoke to CPS and again a few hours later at 8 pm when I was ambushed and my children were taken. My children were never in any danger except by the state who violated my rights, my husbands rights and our children’s rights.

I note the time frames because it’s been said we “flee” whenever CPS gets involved. It’s also been said there is a pattern of abuse when CPS is called so often. I agree. People use the system to bully. And it needs to be stopped.

I write this today because of this. A lady who has been otherwise supportive got her panties in a wad yesterday, she was eventually banned from our FB page. She then took to you tube to make threats:

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Kenrda makes my point for me. If I don’t like you I will make sure CPS is sicked on you.

Opposing the abuse of the system, exposing the corruption, and not supporting innocent families from being ripped apart is a fine reason for Kendra to say ” your family needs to be ripped apart for thinking that way”

Every parent in the US has to look over their shoulder because of people like Kendra (and the people who have called on us). Got laundry piling up? House need some repairs? Kid get hurt? Don’t worry. CPS will be there.

In Ky Its called DCFS. They have a rule book to follow. SOP. But generally it’s up to the caseworker and judge and Gal what guidelines are enforced, and the law is vague personal opinion plays a big role. I’ve seen that with my own case and others. What may seem harmless to you is abuse or neglect to another. Think of how nasty mommy wars get. Now imagine some of those mommies have the power to take your kids. We need to hold people who make false CPS reports accountable. There needs to be probable cause. Families deserve due process. Children should never be interviewed without an attorney present.

This is an investigative report done on DCFS in Kentucky. Its quite upsetting, but important to read. If you aren’t from Kentucky, look into your own states practices.

OIG report

35 Responses

  1. Mickie

    Government and state employees (such as CPS) salaries are paid by taxpayers. I fully agree that people who make false claims against others should be help accountable. If the people reporting false claims were fined that would stop a lot of the injustice.

  2. Carrie King

    I mean no disrespect but I read this with my mouth open. In ours lives… CPS has never been called. My parents raised us up, CPS never came to our home. As I raise mine up, CPS has never come to our home.

    I think if CPS does ever pop up I’d be more inclined to cooperate within reason rather than go off half cocked about a warrant. Comply and see them on their way rather than waste my precious time (and theirs). Instead, you record, document, scream and act insane which has been proven by your own video making the situation larger than it needs to be. You create drama where none is needed.

    Finally, you state people report you rather than offer to help when you are pregnant and poor Joe is on nights. When are you not pregnant? It’s no one else’s responsibility to raise up or HELP you and the sooner you acknowledge this the better your life will become.

  3. BlessedLittleHomestead

    And I agree. I know several people who said exactly what you said to me. Until it happened to them.

    We did cooperate. We allowed them into our home 6 times. Enough is enough tho. We have rights. Use them. Standing up for your family is never a waste of time. I did not create the drama.

    My point was that if people don’t like the way we do things, why not offer help? What did they hope to accomplish? They just wanted us “put in our place” it’s was vengeful reports by people who don’t like homeschooling. Don’t like our families choices. It’s a pattern that has presented itself. I didn’t mention it in the beginning but the day of the 1st Kentucky CPS call was the state of the union when Obama took office. The librarian and I discussed it as I checked out a few religious and political books.nI think that was when her call was made.

    I completely agree it’s no ones responsibility to raise my children. It’s no ones business. That’s my point of this. People need to leave us be and let us raise our family ourself.

  4. Cheryl Flory

    I’m so sorry that ignorant, uncaring, hateful people like this woman keep harrassing you & your family! Please keep protecting yourself & your family! Love reading your blog about life there on your homestead, will keep all of you in my prayers………..God protect you from all these horrible people who keep trying to harm your family!

  5. Tristan Mitchell

    I am a social worker and I have to agree about people misusing reporting. I would say anywhere from 60 to 75% of the reports have a “getting even” or misplaced nosy neighbor feel. Kendra is an example of those who think they understand things, but do not. Here is what I just said to her on YouTube:

    “Kendra, While I have not followed your conversations before this point, you sound a little misguided about the system. I am a CPS (well we call it CWS) Social Worker and I have been a psychology professor. You have psych student syndrome; you think you know things that you do not yet understand completely. I’m going to guess you also think many of your friends have clinical disorders… Why don’t you show this comment to your professors? Reserve enough time for them to express their disappointment in your behavior and then go to the academic counselor to change majors because you lack the professionalism to work in the Child Welfare or Psychological fields.”

  6. watchingtherain

    I hate to break Kendra’s heart, I have had kids steal food, and its not because they were starved. I have one child in my home who feels that for example, if child A doesnt eat their cookie and wants to save it for later, that he can just take it. It is something we have been working on, and the behavior has been getting better. Please dont assume things.
    It bothers me that there are some that waste taxpayers dollars by calling in frivolous calls. It takes away from limited resources.

  7. beccalouise

    Yes well, if you choose to live a little differently than the majority of people, you will be targeted. Irrational people will view you as a threat and try to exert control over you to make you just like they are and to hold you under their thumb. I believe that is why Joe and Nicole have had more run-ins than average. It isn’t because they are bad parents or unsafe. It is because they are a little bit different and that threatens people. They have ten kids. Who has that many kids now? Who chooses to live off the grid? Not too many people. And those are good and healthy choices, and their kids are wonderful and smart and strong. But there are still people who are threatened or who wanted something from the family that they’re not getting that bully through cps.

  8. Mary

    If people call the fire department to report a fire that isn’t here they get a fine. If you call 911 with a false call or call to often(kids pushing the buttons ) the parents can get a fine. At this moment there is a search for who called to report her husband was crazy and shooting up the ceiling of there house. They called out swat and when they got there they found it was a false call and there was no shooting and the women who lives there didn’t call. It was a prank call. Because swat was called it was a costly call that wasted money and time. I am sure when they find the person who did it ..there will be a court case and fine. People that make calls to CPS are wasting tax dollars and time if it is a false claim and out of spite. They should be fined. I was told by a CPS worker that what some people don’t realise is most times when someone calls they know it is a ex spouse or someone with a grudge that calls. They do know it but have to waste there time going too. But they get paid. She told me this over the phone cuz she new it was my ex calling in and having his drunken bar lady friends calling and she wanted me to be aware of it. She new me from a parenting class I took to open up a home day care.

  9. April Jo Perez

    I remember that time when the Police and CPS were there when you got home. I also remember that the landlady refused to fix a window that was broken when you moved in, and was mad because you didn’t want to go to court and support her in a frivolous lawsuit against the guy who came to install the stove… didn’t she also show up wanting to do a “surprise inspection* a few hours after CPS left? That lady had real issues. I also remember the one where the water heater broke, the owners of the house sitting there going through things while you guys (and those of us who went there to help) packed up their mother’s things and cleaned before you moved in, then had the nerve to claim that the AC unit that you brought was theirs when you moved! Not to mention the other issues that they had, going through your mail, etc…

  10. Meagan

    I am sorry that you have had to deal with that bs. It is complete and total nonsense. Events like this are why I stand by my rights. I won’t back down even if I am terrified.
    You’re setting a wonderful example Nicole. Keep pushing on. 🙂

  11. BlessedLittleHomestead

    Yes. Man. I could write a book on the details of the shady people I’ve dealt with.
    People wonder why I want to hide in the woods. After reading that book they would want to hide too lol

  12. Lucy

    I am one who believes that at times CPS needs to step in. No child deserves to be abused sexually, physically, or even mentally, however, stronger guidelines and standards need to be in place. Some people cannot wield even a small amount of power. Looking at those who use their position to hold others accountable to their own personal standards is wrong. We see that abuse by some in pretty much any field from a boss at McDonalds to some in high government positions. They don’t stop to see the aftermath of their behavior, they only get the high from using their power to get their way in the moment. Those who false report are hurting children! It is not healthy for a child to be ripped from a caring home and put into a system where they may or may not get good treatment. At times they are separated from their own siblings. If children are to be protected it might be wise to overhaul the system by working with parents, where imminent danger such as sexual, or physical abuse, isn’t present. If the problem is a concern for cleanliness, food, or proper care, the monies given to strangers to provide could instead be used to help the family stay together. I know it could work because I have seen volunteer programs where villages, families or individuals are taught basic things like budgeting, food handling, proper diet, how to clean, provide clean water, etc. When the family unit is devalued and easily ripped apart, it will affect the whole society. Strong families make strong communities. Invest in family values instead of ripping the unit apart. Kendra just showed her lack of faith in the system. After following your story for a period of time, you have stated that you still work with a case worker and the courts. She doesn’t have more insight online than they have in person. It appears she is throwing a tantrum because you are trying to bring to light inadequacies of a damaged system. Yes, as long as some parents choose drugs, violence, or immoral sexual practices above the safety of children CPS is needed. Proper accountability of the professionals in that field is also needed.

  13. L.

    Try taking proactive measures. Bake some goodies and treat your local CPS office. Take your whole family to deliver them. Invite them to a cookout at your home and make friends with them. CPS workers are people too. They won’t be quick to remove your children, if they know more about you and your family. Unfortunately, these “fake” calls to CPS backs up a system and makes it worse for children who actually need the system. It’s bad for tax payers and bad for the children who need it. It’s sad that this becoming more common. I hope someone will wise up and put a system in place to prevent this sort of system abuse in the future. Be sure to let your elected officials in charge know about what is happening. If you have an admission from someone abusing the systems as a means of retaliation, you may a legal case that might help resolve matters or at least make people think twice before calling CPS in retaliation. Talk to a lawyer.

  14. Darcy Dallin

    Yes, I’m all for the if you file a false report out of vengeance than you should get fined, sent to jail. They arrest those that file false police reports of a crime that didn’t happen. It’s just easier for people to call CPS than it is to help thy neighbor (well these people who don’t like what you’re doing live to far away!) If you don’t like what someone is doing than don’t “follow” that person. Tell Kendra that there are sooo many other children who are actually being abused, probably right down the street from her, who live “normal” lives, why don’t she go help them!? Yes, I would come help you to, but not tell you how to raise your children because your doing just fine. I would help – if I had the money – to help you guys finish any home improvements, clear out the rest of the old garbage/junk that was left behind to restore the land to is natural beautiful state, build you guys a well (is this something you need? Is it something you want? Do you already have one?) so no one can accuse you guys of “stealing” water again. If I had the money myself – I would give it to you guys so you guys could live the life you want, but since you guys do use the repurpose the wood, etc, your cost of building is soo much cheaper! I think you guys educate your children just fine. I know you don’t abuse your children either. Your children are strong and will stand up for themselves!
    Can you guys have cows on this land? For free milk and meat? I don’t know if you want cows, etc, and that might cause a lot more problems with your neighbors! LOL!

  15. Lisa

    Carrie King it’s a mind and heart like yours that makes me have very little faith in humans!! Honestly I’m so fed up with small minds and cold hearts. That is all I want to say right now. Just fed up. I’m sorry Nicole that you still need to hear words like hers. I don’t know how you keep so calm. But then again it shows your integrity and man it’s so much better than these bullies!

  16. Martha Shirk

    People who have never been in your shoes do NOT understand, and saying what they would do is irrelevant till they have actually been there. People could say that we fled to get away from CPS, after being called on 3 times in 3 years (all the cases being dismissed as unfounded) seeing how traumatized the children were getting, my mother heart knew we MUST move. We moved two years ago and it is the best decision we made, CYS knew that we were moving and said they don’t blame us at all. My heart breaks seeing ignorant people reporting good families over and over when those who should be reported are left go till it is too late. False report makers must be held accountable and fined or things won’t change!!

  17. Ben

    I understand your frustration in all this. Nosy people cause unnecessary pain and distrust and ,therefore, they should be held accountable. But they never are. Even worse, the System encourages people to rat and nark on others. You don’t have to be doing anything wrong to get branded as a lawbreaker these days. The law is designed to allow any official (or arm) of the law to encroach on our rights and make our lives a living hell. Child Protective Services is one of those arms, and they have done much harm to many good families. It’s all a big money racket. As for church people, some of them are genuine Christians and they will help you just anyway they can. But, unfortunately, some church people are busybodies, liars, two-faced, holier-than-thou, and spiteful – and wouldn’t lift their hand to help any person in need.

  18. musherpeg

    You forgot several things Nicole. Quinten’s finger incident as you put it was 3rd degree burns on his hand when he tried to start the fire with gas. You didn’t take him to the hospital because you knew CPS would be involved. And you minimized his pain by saying he will learn. I would bet the farm that you or Joe would run to the hospital if you were burned like that.
    When your children were taken you forgot to mention you were living in filth. The report says the children were exposed to an unsafe environment because of that filth and you were living in a stick shack.
    More lies Nicole. More lies.

  19. BlessedLittleHomestead

    Peg..Peg.Peg.Peg. Oh. Look. If you don’t know the truth you should probably just shut your mouth.

  20. Aaron

    Some very good friends of mine had CPS called by an angry ex-spouse with severe bipolar and anger management problems. Even though my friend was a former sheriff deputy (in a different county) And has never criticized police, he felt extremely violated when CPS showed up a completely trampled his rights as a father. No warrants, no probable cause, no evidence – yet they barged in, arresting him and his wife for “resisting” (demanding a warrant), and taking all of their children.

    Things went well for them, and their children were returned quickly. But they both lost custody for nearly 6 months of their children from marriages to former spouses. It was a very sad and difficult time. They were guilty until proven innocent, and no amount of evidence in their favor could speed up the bureaucratic machine.

  21. Jessica

    People can really suck. We lived in orange County California where my husband and I grew up. We had a successful business, owned our own home, sometimes rented, had nice cars, I got to stay home with the lids, we home schooled and had 4 kids. You’d really think there is no reason to our ever call on us but we’ve had it happen a few times in different towns! The first was when we moved next door to a lady who had been in an accident when she was young and had become addicted to pain pills and an alcoholic. She’d do nutty things and did everything she could to make us miserable. Hosed down the inside of my truck, sit in her porch and say crazy things to my kids, threaten to kill their pets, etc. And at the time my oldest was 8 and I was pregnant with a toddler in the middle of the summer. She called cps one day when I left my 8 yr old with a 14 yr old neighbor girl so that I could go to the store to get water and lunch for the kids. It was over a 100 that week and they had to repair pipes in our neighborhood and we had no water for the day. I called the kids when I was driving home, I had my 2 yr old with me, and when they didn’t answer the phone I called again. I left a message saying they needed to answer everytime I called and a sherif answered my phone! He said that someone had called cps saying that my 5 yr old and baby had been left alone! And even though he saw that not of this was true cps still had an open case on us. This went on several times for most of my pregnancy and we finally were able to get a lawyer with all the other residents sick of her crap and they actually had to move instead of us!

    The second time was when we moved the 3 of our kids and I was pregnant with baby 4 and we moved to the beach. Ours was the only house on out Street. It was mostly apartments in our area and there was a vibrant night life there. So I didn’t really worry about how loud my kids could be since people walked the streets all night! We had a neighbor that hated us. They didn’t want my kids playing outside at 8pm on. Saturday in the middle of summer! She don’t look if we left our surfboards out on the porch for a few days. One day she called the police and cps stating that we left our baby home alone. My mom had taken the bigger kids because out 11 month old had a nasty ear infection and was crying all night. We had a newborn whom was born m with cerebral palsy and we were up all night with both babies. We were exhausted! Both girls finally fell asleep and a sheriff was looking through the windows. He told us someone had called it I’m and guess who was standing on the sidewalk???

    When we moved to a condo we had nice condo we had pretty good neighbors but the hoa hated kids! And we had 4 and a service dog that was bigger than the allowed dogs for that neighborhood but they couldn’t tell us no with him. They sent us so many letters saying my kids were ruining the plants and that our dog was found several times running alone in the neighborhood. They threatened to make us move. Luckily we had nice neighbors and a great landlord who backed us up.

    Sometimes like said above, when people see something different they want to change you or want you to go away. When you challenge what they think of as normal, they get scared. It’s weird but the way it is. We home school and have a lot of kids. We work hard and have 2 kids with special needs. Sometimes my kids are loud and we’ve had to go explain to then that our oldest had been diagnosed with diabetes and was freaking about the shots. They had valid concern. They’d look over the fence because it sounded like we were killing her! They were good neighbors and when we explained what had happened they asked how they could help . They stop by to see her, bring her toys, take her for a walk. In a horrible time they stepped up. That’s what good people do!

    Now we live in kauai and our lifestyle is more accepted. Lots of people home school, have a lot of kids, live more off the grid, work 2 jobs, the kids help out and older kids help with the little kids, kids wear hand me downs, rarely wear shoes even at school. It’s more ok to have less. More isn’t always better here. We have a menagerie of animals along with our nutty kids. We had to fight pretty hard for this! I pray you guys can have everything settle down or find a place where your community can be just that.the village that we all need to help us raise our children! Here everyone makes sure the kids are taken care of. If we are stuck in traffic then someone will make sure the kids get home. You see my kids riding the public bus across the island. It’s a safe place to be. Big Island is good too! Good luck with everything!

    To the rest this can happen to anyone! It’s scary how the system can work or not work. I had a friend whose little sister was hit by a care when we were kids. Their mom never paid attentio m to them and she was crossing the street far from home on her own at dusk. All of a sudden her daughter was the most important thing in the world. The other 6 she had became scum. And then she had 3 more hoping for a girl to replicate their sister. She beat them all the time. Neighbors called cps and nothing! They truly needed to be taken away. They wanted to leave. 1 of the babies drowned and my friend ended up over dosing at age 20. He was an amazing artist and a genius. And then on the other coin, my girlfriend was accused of suffocating her baby. He had busted blood vessels in his eyes. While in the hospital they found out he had severe reflux and had literally choked in bed. It happened several time when mom wasn’t there but even then she didn’t get him back until after a year had passed! A vengeful ex played it out as long as he could. It’s happening again and again!

  22. Mary

    Humm..what does the doctor or hospital do with a burnt finger? Put salve on it and wrap it then change you a lot of money.. My youngest boy burned his hand touching a hot electric heater (it was turned off but still hot) I held it under war! (Not cold) running water. Put salve on it (pharmacist told me preparation H ..takes out pain,has antibiotic in it too and soothes burning) then I wrapped his hand. He wasn’t walking yet but he crawled on his one hand and arm for a while.. And he had blisters..never got infected and he wasd and is fine 20 years later .

  23. PaulaJB

    I lived in Eastern KY for 10 years. I KNOW how people in that part of the country can be. It scared me being “an outsider” when someone talked about suing someone just to get them in trouble. It scared me when someone talked about calling CPS just to get someone in trouble. Those people just didn’t talk about doing it, they lived their lives to make others miserable. I had no family there and yes at times I felt very alone and scared because at times I was threatened with hateful talk and threats of pressing charges against me. So, I do believe you when you say that people are bullies when it comes to making people’s lives hell. For a long time, the only suggestion I have for you is to find another state. Seriously. If you don’t want this harassment to continue then you are going to need to make a change in your families life. Good luck.

  24. Kendra

    I have been paying attention for the last few years and you have sent off many red flags but I have given you the benefit of doubt up until our conversation that you deleted and did not include here because you know people would not agree with you. Say all you want about me, I don’t care. My concern is for the children only and with all the very real red flags you send up in how you do things, what you believe and things that have happened that make me so concerned. It has nothing to do with where you live, how many kids you have, how they are educated or any of those things that a parent should be allowed to decide. It has to do with mental and physical safety of the children! I’m sure you will delete this also though.

  25. BlessedLittleHomestead

    Your concerns are invalid as my children are healthy and safe. Your opinion doesn’t change that.

  26. April Jo Perez

    MusherPeg, you really have no idea what you are talking about. The “finger incident” was not a burn. So your ASSumptions are false from the get-go.

    Kendra, your perception is what is throwing you red flags. Your perception is not reality. You want to say that because of an internet conversation you think her children are not safe, but those who have been there in person and seen the ACTUAL conditions of the children and the family, including the CPS caseworker, do not share your mistaken perceptions or your concerns.

  27. Kendra

    ???? well obviously they did or the children would never have been taken to begin with and they would not still be in the picture. You have no idea what I know, have seen or have heard but keep telling yourself the lies to feel better. Btw, how do you think psychologist and Drs etc learn things… Oh that right, by conversation! ?????? and it is not just my perception but instead it is reality that many people see and it is only a matter of time before the state steps in again. It is not my problem if you decide to turn a blind eye to all the red flags she sends up. The children should always come first and they don’t in that family. If you feel your children are truly in danger then you do whatever is needed to protect them, even getting off Facebook. If your children’s personalities have changed so much, for the worse, that you blog about it for sympathy but refuse to get them help, that is a problem. I can go on and on and on but I won’t because until it all comes together in your mind, you will continue to see through their rise colored glasses… But I no longer do. And btw, the 100% in my child abuse and neglect detection class was not from dumb luck??

  28. Rose Virginia Butler

    What really makes me sick is that you got your children taken away from you for no reason, but when I call CPS on my sister because I found dirty needles in my niece’s room, they couldn’t do anything about it (because I had moved the needles to the trash). My niece was (at the time) living with two drug addicted parents who stashed dirty needles in her room, and CPS didn’t do anything about it. But people get pissed off at you, and CPS jumps on it. It is so messed up.

  29. only1

    The children were taken away for reasons that have been well documented. Why was your child starting a fire with gasoline….You blame everyone for your problems but the people who are really responsible. If you are working outside of the home and your husband is taking care of the children, you might want to send him to parenting classes.

  30. BlessedLittleHomestead

    Children do stuff that goes against everything we teach them. It’s a part of life. Get over yourself

  31. Mary

    The truth of the after is…some people are jealous of you Nicole. They wish they had a husband that would bemore of a care giver to their children. Maybe even jealous that you were able to have children they were not able to. Don’t know what they want from you..I am guessing they want you off Facebook because you have to many supporters. Haters are gonna hate. Because that is in their hearts. Got to love those “wanta be ” perfect know it alls that are experts on parenting and have the books on ” How to be the perfect parent and perfect person” (CPS) all I can do is laugh at that lmao.

  32. Mommy Love (@MommyLove74U)

    Kendra, did you even read Tristan Mitchell’s comment? Why don’t you just stick to your classes and leave the raising of the children to their parents. Better yet, go out and volunteer in your community and help the kids that really do need help instead bashing the moms of ones that DON’T need your help or guidance. How about going down to your local abortion clinic and trying to help those moms before they go in and murder their babies, or maybe that doesn’t concern you?

  33. Ell Ess Emm

    Well Nicole I have messaged you on FB and told you the story about my kids being removed and how freaking stupid it was that they even got removed. But like you said, I will get them back. Aside from that, I understand that if abuse is alleged especially by one of (and only ONE might I add) the kids living in the household then yes they do need to take that seriously. But where is it written that 14 year olds never lie and everything they say is the gospel truth? That’s what kills me is that when they showed up and were IMMEDIATELY told of all the evidence that they could have gotten their hands on right away (some of it their own records from where she’d done the same thing to her mother before and it had been found every single time she had lied because she didn’t get her way…things that were worded exactly the same in previous false reports about her mom….an attorney I know who I contacted months prior to any of this who is willing to tell them that I had called her and told her THIS VERY THING would happen and asked for advice on what to do….therapy records where I explained these issues to the therapists thoroughly etc) to prove she was telling a lie they say well we have to take the kids and then we will get it sorted out.

    They leave us with promises of getting this all taken care of ASAP and agreed that if we didn’t do these things then no, our kids didn’t deserve to be removed. And then as soon as they go out the door with the kids of course that all goes down the drain. We don’t hear from our kids for days even though we are promised and assured they will call us. Then after court my mom gets mine but refuses to take my stepdaughter for fear she would end up trying to get her in trouble too. No one else at all would take the child. That should tell them something. Everyone we know has been afraid of her for years and I have tried to get her help and it’s on the record SO many times but it has never been enough. Because what she wants are things we can’t give her. It’s all about what we can buy her that we can’t afford. Or what we can do to reward her bad behavior. I’m sorry but when you’re screaming in my face constantly and trying to boss ME you’re not going to get every little privilege you ever wanted.

    But the sad thing is this is a learned behavior. Not from me or my husband but from the people she’s seen do this a million times and use CPS as a bully tool, just like you say. I have had them called on me several times. Every single time except this last one and one other was by or was instigated by the same person. They came out every time and said there were no issues. But after they removed our kids this time one of the social workers told my husband’s aunt when she went to check on the kids that we had moved too many times during open investigations and that we appeared to be running and they had to teach us a lesson. We only moved once during an investigation and it was because we were told by the worker that everything was fine but that we did need a bigger home. So when we got the opportunity we took it. And I contacted them right away to let them know. I’ve never tried to run from anyone in my life lol nor am I dumb enough to think that they couldn’t easily find me if I DID try to run. There just isn’t any point in running when there’s nothing to run from. I have wondered and wondered how they had come to the conclusion that we had run or if his aunt just said that because she assumed we had run from them in the past and wanted to try to be condescending.

    Anyways, I’m sorry for rambling. I just see some similarities in a few things in our stories. I think people who come on here and comment like you’re bad parents are ignorant. Til a person’s kids get removed they had no idea how it feels. But I’m not one to downplay my own behavior. If I do the crime I will admit it and take my punishment. When they come in and take your kids over a complete lie you know they’re not doing their job properly when there is a ton of history at their fingertips before they even came out that would have shown them the source wasn’t a reliable one. Not at all. And when the other kids are interviewed and say they are happy and content and say we have never abused ANY of them…. It’s crap when they automatically decide they’re going to go by the word of the one with the track record of telling dangerous lies all day every day. There should be accountability. For people that call and make false reports hold them accountable. I got that crap stopped by telling the person making the false reports that I was told they had the info on who called and that they WOULD be held accountable next time. They sure didn’t ever call again. And for kids who are TEENS and make false reports they should be held accountable too. Sometimes therapy just doesn’t help especially when you’ve been trying it for years and it doesn’t help facilitate the first change. Sometimes we need to look at other things such as putting the kid in a juvenile facility and letting them think about what they did. Foster care doesn’t help them. It’s not a punishment to her when she lied and all the kids are living elsewhere because of it and when she’s living with people right now that are getting her any and everything she wants. All they have done by removing our kids is make the issues worse for the one that HAS the issues.

    You should know who I am but I’m not leaving my name on this because I have a stepchild out there who lied on me and was rewarded with a brand new tablet by foster parents who don’t realize how dangerous she is and we haven’t been back to court yet. So I don’t want to give the morons who took them in the first place any reason to think they need to go at me harder. Funny though… Her dad was the abuser initially and then when she realized there could be criminal charges come from it she’s back tracked and now it’s me. Lol. She wants her dad to herself and wants handed everything in the world and apparently that’s as good a reason as any to take a person’s kids away.

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